A home for self-discovery

View Original

The long, winding road to get here

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, which beautifully coincides with the launch of my Little Black Book. It’s a lifelong project born as a consequence of burnout and navigating the difficulties that life throws, but at the same time feels like it was what I was born to do — transforming that experience into nurturing others in their journey.

One of the many reasons it’s taken me years to launch was the fear of fully showing up in the world as myself, and having to take the time to understand how to undo all the mental blocks and conditioning that led to self-doubt and fear of judgement or not being understood.

Our mental health is so intrinsically linked with our capacity to show up in the world, especially if you, like me, are a creative and polymath where there is less general understanding for who we are and what we do. In a way, we’re forced to embody that understanding for ourselves, because often when we do, others show up in resonance with that too, and little by little the world feels less lonely and more accommodating (and celebratory).

Showing up, despite the fear

I now know how important it is for me to show up fully as myself, even though it’s terrifying sometimes — I spent almost my entire life hiding my true self, and am of course still on that journey of bringing into practice the work I’ve done to overcome those fears.

Over the years, I’ve seen the value in others showing up as themselves, living their trials and errors visibly in real time, and the allowance this gives for others to do the same. It’s cyclic. Other people have helped to expand me and give me that confidence through their showing up, and I know I have been able to do that for others too; I want to continue this, always.

We live in a world full of paradoxes and overwhelm that can often be so hard to make sense of, but having those living examples helps us to create acceptance for our own contradictions and imperfections, finding ways to move with the ebb and flows of life.

THE JOURNEY

I wrote a piece similar to this almost four years ago now (you can read it here) in response to World Mental Health Day, and many of the thoughts still resonate so strongly, because our mental health is a lifelong journey. But there are also visible changes there too, a slight lessening in the fear, a little more willingness to show up. It’s a combination of now having (and embodying) more tools to manage anxiety, stress, overwhelm, fear, with less reliance on a therapist, as well as having a wonderful group of friends and support system around me whenever I falter.

Since launching, I’ve been met with so many beautiful messages resonating with this struggle, whilst being so celebratory of me showing up as myself, and with this work. I am so grateful for all this support, and so excited to keep growing this space so we can have more compassionate conversations and connections, and feel a little less alone in it all.