World Mental Health Day. It’s important to talk about.

It’s World Mental Health Day. Tears stream down my cheeks as I write this as I think about how little self-love, self-compassion and self-worth I have for myself. I don’t want others to feel this way. I feel so strongly about this. I have so much that I want to share but I’m scared to yet equally so motivated to. There are so many people, especially those closest to me or that I grew up with that have no idea of the mental health issues I have combated because I was scared of being judged or thought less of. I spent almost my entire life hiding my true self and am only now just becoming who I truly am. I lost friends because of this. I pushed people away because it was easier than letting people in and then being let down. I’m an open book but I’m also on my own journey. I am confused and conflicted about my own mental health and stability. I live in a world of paradox’s that I cannot make sense of but I’m learning that that’s ok and actually the way of life. It’s how I can restore balance and harmony that I’m figuring out now. Mental health. It’s all-consuming. It’s devastating. It’s debilitating. It can often be suicidal. I’ve been there, I know. Please take care of your mental health and help those around you. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help and help others. Don’t ever feel embarrassed of emotion and your sensitive needs and wants. Just because you can’t see someone in pain doesn’t mean they’re not going through something incredibly painful. I write this because I need to remind myself of all of this. I am not perfect and I don’t want to be. I have made mistakes, I have been unkind and I’ve been hurtful to others, but especially to myself. But I want to be a better person so I can in turn be there for others and be kinder and happier and make the world a better place. Not just for myself but for others. Remember that hurt people hurt people. A quote I believe from Yehuda Berg. Take care and I wish I could give everyone a big squeeze. I’m smiling now. Because I finally realise how much of a softy I am and that I love love more than anything I just need to learn how to receive it and give it out and that it’s ok to ask for what you truly want even if it means losing something in the process. X

Related: I Am Enough | The Long, Winding Road to Get Here